"Shit, I Gotta Do More Stuff!"
Mitch Woodland turns 21.
As far as humans are concerned, the cow is the be all and end all of convenience and functionality in the animal kingdom. Its widespread versatility in dairy produce and complete lack of enthusiasm to do anything remotely interesting ensures a low maintenance, yet highly beneficial species.
So what the fuck do cows have to do with Mitch Woodland? Well, its exactly what they don't have to do with him that is most alarming. Cows are notorious for producing copious amounts of milk and its no secret that dairy is the foundation of a strong and reliable skeletal system. Brimming with youthful rebellion, Mitch neglected to drink milk and thus suffered the consequences, breaking several fragments of bone in his arm. Now I'm no doctor, but I do have Mitch's best interests at heart, so I recently suggested that he begin drinking milk religiously to boost his body's calcium levels and bone density in hope of preventing such an incident occurring again.
"Nope, I haven't been drinking milk, but I have been undergoing strenuous physio sessions three times a week." says a despondent Mitch. "Injury sucks. I want to avoid them as much as possible."
The prospect of a considerable stint out of the water has Mitch fighting deep psychological demons climbing up from the depths of his tormented soul. Additionally, It is fair to assume such an injury creates a fair bit of spare time and with the arm of choice unable to carry out certain personal duties, what better way to pass the time than getting on the sauce. "I tried not to drink for a while because of the swelling that comes with it. But I did find myself needing a release as I couldn't surf....and I did turn 21."
Turning 21 is the last birthday worth celebrating, the expiry date on all things enjoyable - the irresponsible consumption of liquor, inappropriate public nudity, chasing young (bordering inappropriate) tail. However in terms of bodyboarding it marks a major milestone in Mitch's maturity as a rider, honing the fluid, technical surfing that blew the pants off Joel Taylor, main man at Unite Clothing Company way back in 2003.
"I had been keeping an eye on Mitch since that invert in the Waldron Bros. film, Raised Heights," Joel explains, but not like, in a watching-you-sleep kinda way. "Initially, I was speaking to him on and off, watching him progress and flowing him some product. He was just a grom from a small coastal New South Wales town that surfed really well, but also had a good head on his shoulders. I had a feeling that he had the potential to make a career out of the sport."
Joel muses with an air of accomplishment, on the rare feat of discovering a 15 year old kid that had all of the attributes that can make a top professional bodyboarder. His gamble on the young malnourished greyhound paid dividends when Mitch began demanding mag and video coverage in the following months, letting his surfing do the talking. However when it came to landing a full time sponsor, he was getting all up in JT's grill on a regular basis.
"Eventually we had to give into his constant hounding", says Joel with a hearty chuckle. "We officially put him on the team after the Movement Grom Trip in '06, and was the first grom to be added to the Unite Team. I don't think we could have asked for a better kid. He fit in perfectly with our team and still does."
Since relocating to Margs in 2007, Mitch has focused on a enviable lifestyle he describes as 'based solely around bodyboarding'. "Which was a change, because growing up I always had a job and had to organize trips and stuff around it. It's isolated here though, I feel a little forgotten at times and to travel away takes a lot of effort. I feel as though I've accomplished what I set out to do over here and that was to improve my surfing in different, heavier waves. I think I'll probably move back east soon to make some noise".
As the next decisive moment in Mitch's career edges closer, it seems the recent leap into full blown adulthood has him quietly pondering the thought of bingo and a catheter 50 years from now. "It gets progressively worse every year. Each year I think to myself - shit, another year older, I gotta do more stuff! My priorities lie solely in bodyboarding though, and having as much fun as possible around that."
Since becoming Joel Taylor's prized discovery all those years ago, a hefty pension appears to be blossoming for Mitch picking up further financial support in Void Wetsuits. More cause for celebration came in foam form recently, with board sponsor Pride releasing Mitch's first ever signature model. It is often the case that a rider's choice of sponsor is a strong manifestation of their character, so it came as no surprise to hear Mitch was very proud of riding for Pride. "I'd say i'm proud of myself for the companies I ride for and also to the fact that I've never switched sponsors. I've been loyal to Pride, Unite and Void since I signed with them years ago. They showed belief in me and I have returned the favour by staying on with them and hopefully making a difference along the way."
He may not have racked up too many hours on his new signature craft recently thanks to his inferior skeleton, but all teat sucking, strong boned children of the ocean claim that Mitch is onto a winner. "I couldn't be happier with how it goes and looks. I've had positive feedback from lots of people and they seem to be stoked, so as long as it's getting people stoked - I'm happy!" Now that the internet has publicly violated this innocent little alternative sport of ours, 'getting people stoked' is a 24/7 liability for today's top bodyboarders. The fear of being left behind in the shit fight that is online self-promotion has seen Mitch join the blogging orgy. "I think in this day and age you need to cover all bases, and the internet is the biggest fan base of them all. So I aim to keep everyone happy - my sponsors, groms, friends and peers."
The topic of discussion naturally shifts to Mitch's tour prospects, and he goes a little sirro ball. After watching repeated fuck-ups of holding IBA events in small onshore piss, I suggest the tour may no longer be a realistic indication of who is the best rider in the world that it once was. Ever the optimist, Mitch is quick to slap me in the face."I place maximum interest and importance on comps", Mitch replies, words wreaking of enthusiasm. "It is an indication, and a correct one at that, of how you react in hectic situations. You go against the clock, the surf conditions, other competitors and most importantly yourself. I'm aiming to achieve a high level of competition success in my career, because I know winning a title of any sort, solidifies you as a great rider in history and the feeling would be unrivalled."
Talking about the the future has Mitch bouncing on his bed as if he were a pubeless adolescent once again, except this time he jumps with purpose and determination."I'm always hungry, not just with food but in life. I always want what I haven't got so I am constantly striving to gain more" Mitch says, possibly referring to fluctuating weight. "I think that's why I suit bodyboarding. It's a never ending quest to be perfect, which technically is always going to be impossible."
In a testament to his recent excessive eating habits, Mitch had already polished off three healthy and delicious meals before we had spoken that day. His newfound dedication to an upbeat, wholesome lifestyle may be the secret ingredient in his blueprint for competitive success, or maybe an early sign of the role model in Mitch starting to surface. Either way, his injury has helped him reach a state of spiritual enlightenment - his body now a temple of divine worship. "This is probably the healthiest I've eaten in my life."
Ideally, I would wrap this up with an informed and witty opinion of what lies ahead for Mitch Woodland. However by this stage I have completely forgotten about any insightful and/or interesting conversation we may have had, which has been replaced by the thought of a delicious sandwich. Instead, I leave you with Mitch Woodland's five favourite meals, which as I assumed are severely lacking in calcium content.
1) Pizza - "In my opinion is one of the best food inventions ever. You can fit so much on them, they're cheap to make and they are so fucking good!"
2) Lamb Korma - "I love Indian food and this is just one dish I though of. With a serving with rice and veggies - you can't lose!"
3) Kebab - "Another timeless invention. Can fit a shitload on them, and they are healthy if you make them right."
4) Thai green curry with chicken - "It would be criminal to not mention this dish. I love curry, it's healthy, tasty and easy to put together."
5) KFC ultimate burger meal - "I can't resist KFC and I like to eat it if I feel like I am rewarding myself. I've been eating these for years, i'd love to know how many I have actually consumed. In all seriousness, when I was about 16 I was contemplating getting a tattoo of the colonel's head on my wrist so I could claim free KFC forever."
"Don't really know what this says about me though, other than I eat heaps."
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